-=[顺]=- Shun no Oni

Life is definitely uncertain. It is to the extends it frightens me and I only found a way of escape to ignore the reality. As a matter of fact, I am quite lost and alone. An emptiness fills up my heart, it is cold and white. White like a blank piece of paper in my heart and stomach. Fear clutches the very heart i have and crushing it like a heart attack except of pain and suffering, it only anxiety, nervousness and fear itself engraving to the muscle and the idea in my body.

Society has made me to work in this way, the one and only way system. Any alternative way would only be deem as blashemy to the world. I am a one mere living thing that was like a slave to the system. I want to evolve, to live to my fullest but what mark my fullest is uncertainty. Living with limits, with restrictions, with obligations, with love ones, with the one that brought me here. I felt there is a burden and shadow overcast on me like a puppeter and a puppet.

I live like a frog in a well, I don’t deny that fact. Time to time, I want to explore, to feel, to understand, to enjoy, to experience several emotions, feelings and situations. Thou sometime this feat is tested, I only feel the need to withdraw back to my well again. To lick the wound or to heal a  wound, I must choose. To  let it rot me away, or start anew and afresh, back to the battlefield.

War and battle, constantly on my topic, why is it? Am i a fanatic War freak, I ask myself. No, of course. Its the true honor and the friendship bond that is pure and beautiful. Honor is what. It is a result of discipline and right action done. Bonds are made from two or more parties with the same mindset and goal that helps each other in their ways that merge into a force thats quite strong and infinite and unpredictable.

To feel let down, or forsaken, seem to be a cold feeling. I can stand up as a man or cower like a nothing with nothing seeking the nearest escape to run to. To have that feeling applied in this situation, it would only mean an angel’s wings is being taken away and let to fall and die on his own. A terrible and sad ending.

What is fear?
n.

1. 1. A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.
   2. A state or condition marked by this feeling: living in fear.
2. A feeling of disquiet or apprehension: a fear of looking foolish.
3. Extreme reverence or awe, as toward a supreme power
4. A reason for dread or apprehension: Being alone is my greatest fear.

I think its like Feeling Enormously Anxiety Rejected.
No tears or voices were dropped and express, but fear is there within me. Ignoring doesn’t helps, its always there.

Signing off for today
    Feeling a bit scare of something. Feeling bleak.
        Just another bit of me. bit + bit… one day will become a gigabtye.

hmmm, this battle lasted about 4 fight days.
Day 1, First attempt to confront the enemies.
Our weapon the Sealer and Printer.

Quite a slow and dis-hearted times to look for the weakness in the sealer and fixing it.
Xeroxis poison air was covering the last sanctuary of our plains. Things gotta work for our advantage.
Sealer was a 2 edged sword. It kills the letter monsters but it generate lightning spells that seem to susceptible to use my ally as a conductor to sap me.

A battle plan was decided to use in this war. We brought the Tower of Airea and the Sphere of Whirlpool to the front-line. Lightning spells were nullified, reduced but some manage to get through.

Food was another factor in the survival of the battle.
1st night’s meal was a disgust to the soldiers. Guess I will never eat another prata in a month.
Because of the time we were in war, there wasn’t any choices of food. Either the Eastern Prata or the Conqueror of the fast-food, MACdonaldz. Hearing of fellow comrades eaten about 1000 or even more of Macnuggets was a tale that we should never hear, speak or attempt.

2nd night’s we have no choice, and we did the head on without outsourcing food. Thou we manage to hit more, but fatigue and hunger strikes on us like a deadly spells. We were quite weaken by it and did not kill as much as day 1. A quick rest and 2 hot cup noodle rations, bring us back to life and we continue the war.

3rd night, We came prepared. Subwayish Sandwiches were the life Savior at this night. Thou too much of a same thing will kill the hungry appetite.

The numbers were clearly lesser after 3 nights of battle. During the last night, we pushed ourselves to achieve the victory by subduing the last final boss of the monsters.

A slow cut and slash to the monster’s stomach and the head. His fate was sealed. Victory was achieved. Amen.